Thinking Pascal's Thoughts After Him

This quarter at school I am in a class once a week where we are reading through Pascal's Pensees. So far it has been absolutely fantastic; it has quickly become one of my favorite books. Pascal was an incredible thinker and there have been so many striking passages that I thought I would share. (I might be posting more since there are so many of them). 

This first one is under the section of vanity.

We never keep to the present. We recall the past; we anticipate the future as if we found it too slow in coming and were trying to hurry it up, or we recall the past as if to stay its too rapid flight. We are so unwise that we wander about in times that do not belong to us, and do not think of the only one that does; so vain that we dream of times that are not and blindly flee the only one that is. The fact is that the present usually hurts. We thrust it out of sight because it distresses us, and if we find it enjoyable, we are sorry to see it slip away. We try to give it the support of the future, and think how we are going to arrange things over which we have no control for a time we can never be sure of teaching.

Let each of us examine his thoughts; he will find them wholly concerned with the past or the future. We almost never think of the present, and if we do think of it, it is only to see what light it throws on our plans for the future. The present is never our end. The past and the present are our means, the future alone our end. Thus we never actually live, but hope to live, and since we are always planning how to be happy, it is inevitable that we should never be so.

La Chanson Du Chien

Well this is a different kind of blog post from my others, but I hope you all enjoy it.

My dog, a Cavalier King Charles Spaniel named Autumn, has quite a personality and loves to sing (i.e. howl) whenever I practice the piano. And she doesn't sing to everything I play;  she likes to be accompanied by certain pieces more than others. :)

There have been several birthdays among my family and friends the past few weeks and so we decided to take a video of Autumn singing "Happy Birthday" to send to people on their birthdays. Originally it was for my French Teacher (thus the blog post title).

So I uploaded it on YouTube.

A Notorious Thief

Quiet yet deafening.

Subtle yet strong.

Addictive, yet guilt-provoking.

He brews envy and suffocates love, bewitches the mind and blurs your vision.

He steals joy and leaves you in pain, sharply wounded by a dull reflection. He steals during the night and even in broad daylight. He is clearly see, sulking, yet he cannot be easily imprisoned. He is one of the Devil's key weapons in making us hate ourselves and question the one who made us.
He is comparison.

Last Night's Journal Entry

October 3rd, 2014

This year for SALT (Serving And Learning Together), my school's fundraiser, the seniors went bowling with several special needs children from The Russel Home. They didn't think they were quite prepared to serve in that way, but the day ended up being a huge blessing not only for the children but also for them.

So this week during assembly the director from The Russel Home For Atypical Children came to thank them for their outreach. She spoke of the numerous lives they had touched and shared several stories, one of which was of a girl named Hannah. 

Hannah's mom had passed away and her only sister was not able to care for her. Thus, she was brought to the home only a few months earlier. The director said that every single day she would cry, wanting her mother and wondering if anyone loved her. The volunteers at the home would always comfort her and tell her how much she was loved and that she would one day see her mother again, but it didn't help. 

The day the seniors took the children bowling she did not cry once. 

There were many other amazing stories, and for a thank you to the seniors the director surprised them by bringing the special needs praise team to preform for us all. 

There were about eight down syndrome girls who all had big smiles on their faces and waved at us all as they took their places. Their dance was beautiful. Simple and a little off coordination, but altogether beautiful. All eight of them were so engaged in praising God and doing their best. I was smiling from ear to ear. It was very difficult to keep from crying. As they ended and took their final pose, the whole school body stood up in the bleachers and cheered louder and more joyously than I've ever heard. Chills kept running down my spine. The expressions on those girls' faces were indescribable. Some covered their mouths with their hands and started jumping up and down and hugging each other. They all had the biggest and warmest smiles I have ever seen. Tears welled up in my eyes and I could not even attempt to stop them from flowing. The seniors flooded the gym floor and surrounded them. The rest of us were dismissed to our next class. 

Once I got to the Chemistry room all the girls began bawling, hugging each other and wiping each other's smeared makeup off. It was a really special moment.

That was one of the most meaningful 45 minutes of my life and definitely the most indescribably beautiful thing I have ever seen. 

Unpacking Joy - A Sonnet

The winter comes. Now pack your joy away.

The clouds roll in with gloomy faces down.

“It’s time to guard celestial skies,” they say.

They cast their mournful glances to the ground.

Breeze swirls. It swishes through the fading trees.

The leaves are struggling. Hold on through the fight!

They drop; last breath drawn from them by the freeze.

Survival’s slim for all is dead tonight.

But wait. That light! From whence it comes?

A star bursts forth and splits the turbid skies.

It rests above a barn where lays a son.

Upon the manger hay the baby cries.

With joy against the howling storm we’ll call,

“Fear not! For one day he will save us all!”

Small Urges

Do you ever get a feeling of exhortation that unexpectedly pops into your head? Often I am nudged by the Holy Spirit to do certain things, such as apologize to someone when I do not want to, or to write an anonymous letter for someone I don't usually interact with at school. Once the thought is in my head, I know it has to happen. At times nervousness and doubt creep in and try to destroy that assuredness. But once the action is completed, a curtain of peace always falls over me. 

Today, I witnessed a similar experience. It was a small act of kindness. However, it completely changed my perspective on compassion and generosity. Mom and I were on our way home from a Costco run and were waiting at a red light (which, if you've ever been to Florida, you know that Florida traffic lights are very disorganized and extremely long). As we watched and waited, we saw two Chinese college-aged girls with three large suitcases walk up to a car, apparently looking for directions. The driver was in a hurry and she gave them a few vague pointers and drove off. As our light turned green and we started pulling away, mom was saying how hard it would be for a foreigner to be lost in a city like ours. By the tone in her voice I could tell that she wanted to do something about the situation. After a few seconds of silence, she said, "You know, they're lost and they don't know the language well and I just feel like I should go back and help them." Now in my mind I was thinking, Okay, there are two strangers on the street in Florida and, what's more, they don't speak English very well. I do not think that is a good idea. I voiced my thoughts to her, but she persisted. "We need to go back." 

So we turned around and pulled into the CVS parking lot and up next to the girls. I nervously rolled down my window, and the conversation began.  Mom leaned over, smiled, and said, "Do you two need a ride?" They showed me the address to their apartment which I then looked up on mom's iphone. Thankfully the destination was not far. 

After hearing their voices, and seeing their bewilderment, I started to realize that we were meant to be there. The groceries were moved up to the front with me. The girls' vibrant yellow, dark black, and dull grey suitcases were packed into the trunk, and they climbed gratuitously into the car. Mom's hospitality shone as we started talking together. We learned a lot about each other during the drive, and a certain friendship formed. Their names were Yankee and Ingrid. Both were from Hong Kong and were going to begin an internship at Disney World's Epcot. 

We finally reached their apartment, helped carry the bags up to the room, and said a bittersweet goodbye. Everything had gone smoothly, which I was very thankful for, but I was disappointed to leave two very sweet girls, even though we had only known each other for a few minutes. The drive home was spent in silence; we were washed over by God's peace. 

That experience turned out to be the day's highlight. All the while I marveled at their sweetness and thankfulness and at God's perfect timing. He moves in mysterious ways. I also thanked Him for blessing me with a mom who has such overwhelming compassion, generosity, and kindness. Her actions not only touched Yankee and Ingrid, but they touched me as well. 

As Aesop said, "No act of kindness, however small, is ever wasted."

Blueberry Picking!

Two of my closest friends and I went to pick blueberries last week! They are so much fun to be with! We had a blast!

The blueberries were absolutely delicious!!!!

And of course, the drive is always a blast: dancing and singing our hearts out!!!!

Arriving home with more than 5 boxes of blueberries....we needed to make some cobblers!!!

God has blessed me with these two girls! They have encouraged me and kept me going in times i didn't think i was going to get through. I am so thankful for them and love them so much!